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Thread: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

  1. #861
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    I'm having chest reconstruction surgery on 17th May! I can hardly wait. I can't believe I might be able to go shirtless by the end of summer!

    If you watch the news and see a segment about a guy with strange scars running around half-naked, howling at the moon and overall being creepy, that will be me.~


  2. #862

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    I think doctors usually advise to keep the zones affected by cirurgy covered from the sun a while longer, to avoid bad scaring, so careful with that part but congrats, man.

  3. #863
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by FolhaS View Post
    I think doctors usually advise to keep the zones affected by cirurgy covered from the sun a while longer, to avoid bad scaring, so careful with that part but congrats, man.
    I know, I plan my shirtless escapade at night~ I'm awfully pale anyways and burn easily.


  4. #864

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    That's awesome Nolus! Wish you the best for no delays and speedy recovery :)

  5. #865
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Thanks :) I feel like I've done and am still doing everything I can to be as healthy as possible~


  6. #866
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    So I had to stop taking testosterone two weeks prior to my surgery, which means I'm without T since Thursday. I may be hallucinating it, but feel kind of shitty. Makes me even more certain T is for me, even though I was 100% sure as it is.

    In other news, a few weeks ago, my mom found out she was bisexual. Her life has taken an interesting turn, but she says she's happier than ever, and I'm so proud of her. She's discovering herself in way she never has before and enjoys every second of the ride. Things didn't go so smoothly though and matters are far from settled, but I'm confident she'll keep doing good.
    She said she can understand me much better now. Interesting how she described her discovery as a result of years of having a strange feeling deep inside (I can relate greatly to that).

    I'm just so incredibly happy for her~


  7. #867

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    I had to go off E for two months and that was pretty wretched after a while. So it's probably not a hallucination Nolus :)

    And I'm glad your mom has found some new things to be excited about! I hope she can be happy with everything :)

  8. #868
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Surgery was today. I'm currently in a bed at the clinic, watching NatGeo and enjoying a full stomach. I haven't eaten for 24 hours on doctor's orders.

    I feel awesome. I had to say goodbye to my nipples due to how my boobs were strucutured, but the healing process will be faster this way, and I will get "replacement" in half a year or a year.


  9. #869

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    So, you look like an anime character now?



  10. #870
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Haha, I guess so. I still have bandages on, so I haven't actually seen it, but the doc told me it turned out well.


  11. #871

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    I'm happy for you Nolus :)

  12. #872
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by Serra Britt View Post
    I'm happy for you Nolus :)
    Thank you :) Your support means a lot~

    I'm finally rid of the drains and oh boy, what a feeling. Still have to wear the compression bandage thingie, but now only the two scars are tapet down. Honestly, it feels kinda freeing. It's ridiculous how much my mood improved now that the drains are gone.
    Also, I had a look at my new chest. It's swollen and it lacks nipples, but it's so... strange and yet good. Now I will finally be able to see my pecks once I get back to training.

    Now I'll try and gift my binders to my fellow Hungarian transmen. If there are no takers, I'll ask around reddit.


  13. #873
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Threadicus reanimatus!


    So, with Pride Month in full swing, I wanted to ask about a topic that has been bothering me for almost a year now, namely, queer relationship. By that I mean a non-straight relationship between two or three people.

    The thing that bothers me about this subject is that I have a hard time imagining a couple whose dynamic doesn't fall into the typical male/female category, even among gay people. You probably heard the question one typically asks from gay men: "So, which one of you is the woman in the relationship?" as if there lied a universal rule that determines that all couples, no matter if they're straight, gay or bi, should consist of a woman-part and a man-part. I reject this whole notion, yet I seem to have a hard time imagining what a "non-traditional" relationship dynamic looks like. Partly because I haven't really been in a queer relationship and partly because I don't really have friends or acquaintances who might challenge this norm.

    I'm honestly unsure what I'm looking for exactly. Maybe real life stories, videos, movies, novels etc. that can expand my horizon.

    As a gay transman that might be somewhat (but not fully) bisexual (I'm working out the details), I strive to find a partner with whom I'm able to build a relationship free of these norms and restricting stereotypes. I have no interest in being "the man" in the relationship (let alone "the lady"), all I want to be is me, whatever that turns out to be.


  14. #874

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    After all these years can I just say that I am so grateful that you are letting us be a part of your life like this. I'm always extremely happy when you post and things seem to be working out for you.

    As for your question, it really boils down to this, doesn't it?

    all I want to be is me, whatever that turns out to be.
    That's all everybody should be doing. Breaking with century-long traditions is of course a hard thing to do, but as long as you stay true to yourself and your partner does the same (or partners), you'll obviously figure it out for yourselves. What others think shouldn't matter and hopefully doesn't. Okay, that's a lot of trite advice, I know. But I believe it applies. And I got nothing else except possibly inapproppriate videos loosely related to the topic...

    Just something fun I made during the latest Survivor playing as Monji:
    Spoiler:


  15. #875

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    There's still people who want there to be a delineated boundary, so the questions probably won't stop for a while. However, this doesn't mean you can't have a proper relationship without one being "the man" and one being "the woman" because that implies one person is dominant and one person is submissive. I think the key is to just communicate and do what's best for the partnership as it relates to yourself, while respecting the needs of the other(s) in the relationship as well.

  16. #876
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by Huschel View Post
    After all these years can I just say that I am so grateful that you are letting us be a part of your life like this. I'm always extremely happy when you post and things seem to be working out for you.

    As for your question, it really boils down to this, doesn't it?

    That's all everybody should be doing. Breaking with century-long traditions is of course a hard thing to do, but as long as you stay true to yourself and your partner does the same (or partners), you'll obviously figure it out for yourselves. What others think shouldn't matter and hopefully doesn't. Okay, that's a lot of trite advice, I know. But I believe it applies. And I got nothing else except possibly inapproppriate videos loosely related to the topic...

    I'm glad my random ramblings and stories about stumbling through transition and self-discovery bring you joy~

    Although I'm struggling with cramps and general fatigue and irritability nowadays due to me kinda sorta having a period (?). I've been to doctors, and none of them said I have anything life threatening, so I assume it's something I have to endure for less than two months now. Surgery is likely to take place at the beginning of August. This will actually mark a huge milestone in my transition, as in I won't be having any more surgeries for a good couple of years after that. Namely for financial reasons and also because I'm still a bit unsure about bottom surgery.

    I'm honestly looking forward to be able to get truly comfortable in the new state of my body without having to worry about school or getting randomly cramped up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Serra Britt View Post
    There's still people who want there to be a delineated boundary, so the questions probably won't stop for a while. However, this doesn't mean you can't have a proper relationship without one being "the man" and one being "the woman" because that implies one person is dominant and one person is submissive. I think the key is to just communicate and do what's best for the partnership as it relates to yourself, while respecting the needs of the other(s) in the relationship as well.
    That makes sense. I do want a relationship where we can both discuss our feelings and thoughts without fearing upsetting the other party. Openness is key, as well as emotional maturity.

    I do wonder through what channels I'll be able to find my future partner. I tried Tinder, which is so laughably useless to me it's astonishing, Grindr which is... well, arguably not the best place to look for serious romantic relationships, and finally, Gayromeo. This one actually holds a lot of promise and despite the fact that my profile is currently deactivated, I plan on reactivating once I'm through with the surgery. I also joined a gay club for university students, where I'm out to most regulars and older members. The club has movie-nights, game-nights (with boardgames), drink-nights and other seasonal programs (we went skating in January). Barhopping and dancing and other events that might be more classically associated with the gay scene didn't do it for me. Boardgames and other nerdy things is where I feel I can really be me.


  17. #877
    Voici La Chévre Wagomu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Yeah, a lot of popular venues for online dating don't do well by queer relationships. OKCupid does have a decent-sized queer userbase, though, so if you haven't tried it, then maybe you'll find some more success there.

    As for trying to break out of the mold for relationships, it's definitely a tough thing to do. A lot of our cultural engagement with and language about relationships is coated in straight monogamy, and it takes a lot of self-examination and unlearning to get past that.

    I'm poly and it took me a while to get there and I still catch myself occasionally framing relationships in that traditional way. Breaking out of it has definitely been a positive, though, for all my relationships. Honestly, I never even dated before engaging with poly thought, because that idea of a traditional relationship just conflicted with my worldview, long before I realized it. I was always frustrated by the idea of suddenly meeting someone and then valuing that relationship above any friendships I had made. I internalized those ideas and it made me think that friendships had to be limited, too, because they were never supposed to be as deep as that one romantic relationship. After meeting poly friends, though, I started to understand that things didn't have to be that way. Relationships - romantic or otherwise - are a spectrum, each involving different levels of intimacy that are free to change and grow in whatever ways they do. Thinking that way helped me understand that new relationships didn't have to supersede old ones in any way, that friendships can be deeply intimate and that, at the end of the day, there isn't really much separating them from romantic relationships. It's also helped me understand that relationships don't have to look like anything. They're just whoever you let yourself be emotionally and/or physically intimate with to whatever extent you want to be.

    Of course we all work in different ways, and you may reach different conclusions in a different way. Hearing alternative ideas helped influence me, though, so I hope my rambling thoughts might have a shred of value in that way.

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  18. #878

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    wait a moment. Chevre is goat in french???? That means cool in venezuelan!


    Can't say anything about the subject at hand tho. Other people will impose their narrative on everyone else, but only yourself can decide wich roles do you like or not, take what works for you, leave the rest, treat people who ask stupid questions like little kids first.
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  19. #879
    The English Avenger Satsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    *sigh* I appears JK Rowling, for all she seems to support homosexuals, does NOT support trans individuals:
    https://medium.com/@Phaylen/jk-rowli...n-9bd83f7ca623

    Dammit, Rowling, you're making it harder to read.

    Quote Originally Posted by maxterdexter View Post
    wait a moment. Chevre is goat in french???? That means cool in venezuelan!
    These Latin languages really mess with each other.

  20. #880

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by Satsuki View Post
    Dammit, Rowling, you're making it harder to read.
    Yeah, well, she's been doin' for a while now. For a variety of reasons.

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